Don't Look At Me
by BeLikeADeadFlower
Summary: The aftermath of death is never a pleasant one. But when you are the one forced to kill 13 people, including your own mother, it haunts you for the rest of your life. It leaves you broken until someone comes to pick up the pieces...
1. Chapter 1

**Bella's POV**

"I just killed 13 people"

Home from a long day at school. I'm making a pot of spaghetti with sauce bubbling off to my left. Mom will be home in about half an hour.

I look up while chopping onions at a knock on the door. Walking warily I check to make sure I'm presentable. Sauce on my shorts, water soaking my shirt from spilling the first pot of water. Yep, presentable.

Before I even reach the front door it's banged in. Several guys walk in, all wearing masks, all dressed in black.

"Is that her?" one of them asks. "Yep." was the reply. All of a sudden, they all come rushing at me. In a panic I start frantically thrashing the knife I was using to cut up the onions. I hear screams and gasps and there's blood everywhere. They keep coming, like an endless stream of black rapids. Until they just stop.

On the ground is bodies all over the place. If I'm counting right, 12. 12!

Mom walks in just then. She acts like there isn't 12 dead people on our floor. She has a look of complete lunacy on her face.

"Sit in that chair," she orders. I know better than to disobey. She takes the knife out of my hand. "Mommy's going to give you some tatoos. Stay still, or it'll hurt worse."

Then it began.

First she carved three parallel lines above my left eye. One came close, oh, so close, to slashing right through to my eyeball. Then she carved a line twisting around my left arm, starting from my shoulder and ending at my middle finger. She created the same pattern on my left leg, carving like it was an art, giving me so much pain.

I wanted to pass out, but she would hurt me more. I just knew she would.

Finally she moved up to my chest. "Mommy is going to give you a heart, you self-centered bitch." She was going to kill me, and I wasn't going to let her. As she aimed she knife directly at my heart and swung her arm, I grabbed her hand, wrestled the blade from her, and stabbed her. Right where she was aiming on me. She screamed until her eyes glazed over and she dropped. I dragged myself over to the phone and punched in three numbers.

"Hello, 911, what's your emergency?"

"I just killed 13 people," I rasped to the empty, cheerful voice. Then everything was black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bella's POV**

The ambulances came, then the police. I only got a glimpse at the cops staring at all the bodies as I was loaded into the back of a bright red ambulance. I was getting a headache from all the shouting and sirens and bright lights. I want everything and everybody to go away. Just... GO AWAY!

A paramedic asked me to move my left arm. I looked down at it, then felt dizzy... Too much blood. The smell was overpowering, it was everywhere.

Then... Darkness...

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Day three at the hospital**

They said I've recovered enough that I can go home soon. But I can't go home. Soon after I came to from them stitching up my arm and leg and face, a lawyer walked in. I could automatically tell that he meant business.

The first words that came out of his mouth were: "Your father is here. He is going to be your guardian. You will live with him, you will not ask questions, you will except everything." And that was that.

No, that's not true. He also said: "Oh, and your house was burned down so all of your belongings (and your cat) are gone. Your father has kindly ordered you a full wardrobe that will prove much better than your old, shabby one."

My father is a tall, husky, man. He looks so very professional, with ties and suits and shiny shoes. His house is furnished with three cooks, two maids, and a butler. He works at a very high quality law firm (though he hired a lawyer for me) and makes a ten figure living... TEN!!!

Now, you're all confused because I killed 13 people and am half-parentless.

My mother has every mental disease that you could have without being mental. She was tested for mental stability and she passed (barely). I was told that apparently she was _not _stable. I guess she just cracked. And I was who she went after.

I've lived a hard life of 'do this's 'do that's and of course, 'you're not good enough's. But whatever, the past, right?

"Ms. Swan?" I looked up, a handsome doctor with light blonde hair was standing at my door. Dr. Cullen, I think. "You are alright to check out. Your clothes are in the bathroom and your escort is downstairs." I nodded and he left. The only words I've spoken since I've gotten here is "I'm tired, goodnight".

I stared at myself in my underwear in the mirror. The cuts were hideous. They told me that I would have scars for the rest of my life. They will always be angry and red, and painful emotionally.

Just then, the door opened, and an angel walked in.

"Oh, I'm sorry," green eyes said. "I didn't- I'm so sorry!" I blushed.

This boy... This man, he was beautiful. He had bronze-ish hair and compelling green eyes. I just wanted to jump him. And he was staring at me in my underwear.

Great!

...Not...

_Hey you guys. Edwards POV next chappie. I know it's weird but, please, just go with the flow._

_-Peace, Love, Volkswagon,_

_IAMYOURSOUL_


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi you guys!! I'm Yoursoul's twin sister (The fun, happy one)! I noticed that she forgot to mention somethings (I think it was in some of her reviews too) so I'm going to fix that! Okay so Edward didn't walk into her bathroom (that would be weird). She was looking at herself on a mirror that was on the front of the bathroom door. So to see she had to be in the room. And the 12 guys came in to kill Bella just cuz her mom is crazy like that and she ordered assassins (AGH! I know!). Okay enjoy!**

**-Yoursoulisnowsmiling**

_Edward's POV_

Four clipboards were thrusted into my hands.

"Edward, I need you to check up on rooms 213, 214, 224, and 231. Place the correct clipboard on the bed. _Knock first_." My father said those last words firmly. I only messed up _once_ and it was a little old lady. It's not like she was in her underwear or anything.

I sighed, being a doctor is so not my thing.

Rooms 213 and 214 had identical twins Renee and Rain **(Who are those **_**random people**_**, I mean **_**seriously**_** =] )**. Renee was depressing and Rain was energetic. I'm not supposed to talk to the patients but they just screamed out their personalities.

I entered room 224 (after knocking) and an old man was lying there looking out a window.

"Love, son." He said in a hoarse whisper.

"What?" I asked him, gently placing the clipboard on his bed.

"Love is the answer to everything. The next beautiful girl you see is definitely the one for you. Take life by the horns, make a head on collision. Love her until you die."

Okay... Random guy...

The name on the top page said Markus Spears.

"Thanks ... I guess." I mumbled slowly backing out.

The last room, the last clipboard.

I knocked on 231, entered and... My jaw dropped.

The absolutely most lovely girl I have ever seen is standing 10 feet away from me... IN HER UNDERWEAR. This is... She is... Oh my Lord.

She blushed, looking down, then looking me straight in the eyes.

"Can I help you," her voice was harsh but soft. I couldn't help but realize that there were scars right above her eye. Now that I mention it, also along her whole left side practically. What happened to her?

"Um, I have this clipboard for you." She is so breath-taking.

"Just leave it on the bed." She said forcefully.

"Yes, ma'am." I said half sarcastically. For someone so pretty, she sure has an attitude.

"Please, just... Don't look at me," she said with tears in her eyes.

I looked down at her clipboard.

"Yes miss Swan, as you wish..."

I slowly backed out but not before looking at the phone number listed on the top of the first page.

_Remember Edward, memorize..._

555-519-5515

Don't forget. Make it a song, a composition for the piano.

555-519-5515

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Bella's POV_

Once dressed, I painfully made my way downstairs to the lobby. I was met by a strong looking, middle-aged hispanic man.

"How are you?" he asked with a thick accent.

I gave him a look that said _what do you think ass-hole?_.

"Well, I'm your butler/driver. Call me Ricardo." He said pleasantly. Great, now I feel bad for being a bitch to my driver.

"Thanks," I grunted. He led me to a small limosuine (if there is a such thing as a small limo...). It was pitch black and sleek. And more importantly it drew attention. And attention is the last thing I want right now.

The drive was silent. I was by my self in the back section. There was a TV, and mini-fridge, and a stereo.

Finally, the limo stopped moving and my door was opened.

"Welcome to your new home, ."

The house is... Hideous...

**Alright you guys. My sister did the top Author's note and I'm doing this one. How's the story going so far? Please review! I love you guys for reading.**

**-Peace, Love, Volkswagon**

**Iamyoursoul**


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella's POV**

Okay, let me rephrase that. It was hideously beautiful.

It was made out of a pale brick with a green roof. It looked to be two or three stories. The lawn in front was huge with colorful flowers lining the base of the house. I've only seen houses like this in movies and magazines.

The front door was opened and a head poked out. There were a few shouted words then the door closed again. Ricardo sighed and opened the door for me.

"Sorry about them," he said. "They're harmless, I promise." We walked through a few hallways only to end up in a large kitchen. It was warm and inviting. I have a feeling that I'll be spending alot of time in here. Two older women were bustling around pretending to look busy. They stopped short when the saw me, grinning like mad.

The shorter one had dark skin and crazy nice, pretty hair. It curled in all different directions. "Hello," she said in a thick islands accent. "I be Tituba from Barbados, yeah. Ain't nothing light about me," she joked, though it wasn't too funny. "That be Inga," she pointed to the taller sturdier looking lady. "She from Sweden. We cook, yeah."

I couldn't help but smile at her toothy grin. "Nice to meet you both."

"Such a sweet girl," Inga crooned. "Hungry, yes? What do you want, we make anything. You like cake? I'll make a cake? What about chicken? Tituba make chicken! Ricardo go get pepsi. You like pepsi? Hell, I'll make everything for you, sweets!"

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. Nobody had ever fretted over me like this. It felt... Nice. Warm. Tituba and Inga stared at me like I was going mad, then started giggling as well. Ricardo let out a chuckle and soon we were all on the floor (figuratively of course).

But seriously, it wasn't that funny. Which made it absolutely hilarious.

When we got our laughs under control Inga suddenly pulled me into a hug. Tituba joined in as did Ricardo.

"We your family now, baby. And you ain't go'in to hurt. I promise, baby. I promise." Tituba whispered.

"We'll love you forever, Bella, we're here for you." Ricardo added.

And I couldn't help but let out a dry sob. I waited for tears to come, but they didn't. Of course they didn't.

I'm not weak.

**Edward's POV**

I'm staring at my ceiling.

There's really not a reason for it. I just am. Got a problem? Good! Because I'm pissed so you should be too.

I just can't get that girl out of my head.

_555-519-5155_

I mean, it's not like I'm ever going to see her again.

But, she was beautiful. Even with her scars. Even if she hadn't been in her underwear I would still be intrigued like I am now.

_How did she get those scars?_

_Who gave them to her?_

_Was she in the hospital because of them, or is she really, truly ill?_

_Why did she seem so distant, so cold?_

_What has this girl had to go through?_

_555-519-5515_

Just as I was about to go mad with questions, and numbers, Alice burst through the door.

"Tanya, call, now!" Then she left.

_Hello Alice, how was your day? Mine was terrible. Oh, and I'm thinking of some girl who's not my girlfriend. Oh, you're fine? Well I love you too. Goodbye dear sister. And thank you for knocking first._

I flipped my cell phone open and held down the number 3. It rang a few times and Tanya answered.

"Are you cheating on me with Lauren?"_Again, hello my lovely girlfriend. How are you?_

"Why would you think that?" Girls are complicated.

"Because it's around the whole school that you slept with her." _Um, I won't even sleep with you. Haven't you girls ever heard of Worth The Wait? STD's? Ring a bell?_

"I did not sleep with Lauren. I have not spoken with her, touched her, or even made contact with her in at least a few weeks. She's just trying to break us up. Chill out."

"DON'T TELL ME TO CHILL OUT, EDWARD CULLEN. YOU BETTER WATCH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING OR I'LL BREAK UP WITH YOU!" she screamed, then hung up. I know she's waiting for me to call her back, but I don't feel like it. I'll just talk to her at school tomorrow.

_555-519-5515_

_Damn._

Maybe it would be best if I practiced piano and just get this girl out of my mind.

I can stay true (by thought, word, and deed) to my girlfriend.

I am not weak.

**Hey guys, this is not Iamyoursoul (well actually now she's BeLikeADeadFlower), this is her sister. I wrote this. How is it? Please review! I've never written fanfiction before so be gentle. I would love a million reviews (but I'll settle with however many y'all give me).  
Don't hurt my feelings!! :)**

**BeABeautifulFlower**

**(If she changed her name I'll change my name too!!!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella's POV**

All I have to do is open the door and turn on the lights. That's it. It's not hard to do. Extremely simple in fact.

I'm standing in front of my new bedroom. Will it be plain? Colorful? Dark? Small?

After Inga and Tituba stuffed me full of food, they took me to see my bodyguards, Hal and Cal. They were big, beefy, and not too smart. But they both told me, in their own way that I would be protected no matter what.

Hall and Cal took me to the third floor, which is actually an attic, and they are now waiting three feet behind me, wondering why the hell I haven't opened this damn door yet!

Taking a deep breathe, I reach out, turn the knob, and push the door open. But I haven't moved from my spot yet. I might just stay here forever.

Peeking in, I can't really tell much. It's too dark. I see black-ish blobs that resemble furniture.

Behind me someone clears their throat, causing me to jump.

"Um, Miss? are you going to go in? either Hal or Cal rumbled (who knows which is which, they're twins!).

"All right, all right..." I muttered, trying to psych myself up enough for this.

I stepped inside lightly, my foot squished onto thick, soft carpet. I flicked the light switch on and stood blinking for a moment.

Then I gasped.

The roomis large... No. Huge! The furniture (desk, headboard, nightstand) is all made out of a dark brown wood. But there's no dresser or mirror or any clothing at all. The carpet is dark blue, as are the sheets on the king-sized bed. The walls were painted a lighter blue with orange polka-dots.

I smiled. Blue and orange. My favorite colors. It's almost as if Emmett designed this.

Emmett!

I've completly forgotten about my best friend! How could I? I need to call him or-

I hear a cell phone...

I think it's coming from the... Bed?

Walking cautiously, I approach the huge bed. In the bed, lying completly innocent was a brand new cell phone. And not just any cell phone... In _iPhone._ Yeah, you read that right... _IpHONE!!!_

And whose face was on the screen calling me? None other than the famous, loud, bear-of-a-person: Emmett.

Picking up the phone I delicately push a button.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Is it really you? Of course it is, don't be silly Emmett. Wait... I'm Emmett. And You're Bella. Which means... _You're _Bella. Bella! And this is _your_ phone number that came with _your_ phone! Hi Bella!!" My best friend... The king of ADD...

"Hey Em, I've missed you."

"You too, Bells. Now listen, I have exact instructions of what I have to say. Okay, walk over to they key pad on the wall next to your door and push the number two." He was reading slowly, as if off of a piece of paper.

I did as he said and a door opened from the middle of the wall.

And I dropped the phone and screamed.

**Edward's POV**

After spending an hour at the piano I now have two pages of a compisition.

And it was all inspired by _her_.

How come I haven't been able to do this for Tanya or any other girl I've dated? This girl is just so... Mysterious.

It's like I'm in love with a stranger.

Wait...

Love...?

What was it that the old man at the hospital had said?

"Love is the answer to everything. The next beautiful girl you see is definitely the one for you. Take life by the horns, make a head on collision. Love her until you die."

And this girl... It _has_ to be her. It just has to be.

What was her name though? I can't remember her name!

Started with an... 'I'.

A swift knock pulled me out of my thoughts and Alice danced into my bedroom.

"Hey, brother. Watcha thinkin' about?" She bounced ini rythym with every word until she reached my bed and floated down next to me.

"How did you know that I was thinking? What if I was reading or checking mail or-"

She cut me off. "Don't get smart, Edward. Jesus, just answer the question." She said sternly.

"Okay, but first... What names start with the letter 'I'? I just have to know.

"Um... Irene? Isabel? Isabella?"

"Wait, that's it!" _Isabella. Isabella... Swan!_

"What's it?" Alice asked, truly puzzled.

"Um... Nothing..." Crap. Now my stupid nosy sister is going to figure everything out like the weird almost-psychic she is.

"You... Met a girl? That's not Tanya... Hm..." She studied my face as I tried to keep it nuetral. "At the hospital!" She sounded like we were playing Clue.

Then she drifted off for a second before looking at me and smiling.

"What?" She has that evil grin that says, 'I know something you don't know...'

"I'm getting a new best friend."

**Hellolo!**

**Hoped you like it. Here's what's coming up:**

**You find out what made Bella scream.**

**Tomorrow is Friday and Bella has start at a new school and finally gets to go to classes with Emmett, her best friend.**

**Edward has to try and make up with Tanya (if he even wants to...).**

**Alice meets her new best friend.**

**Rosalie and Jasper make their first appearance (and one of them breaks a heel... Guess who, Lol.)**

**And lastly, there's a new clothing fad, what should it be??**

**Thank you for reading! Please review!!!!!!!!1**

**BeLikeADeadFlower.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Bella's POV**_

_And I dropped the phone and screamed._

"Bella? Bella? Did you drop the phone? They told me you would be like that… Pick up the phone Bella!!" I was too busy to pick the phone back up.

In front of me was a huge closet. Inside was a rainbow of clothing. The floor was covered in different kinds of shoes. All I normally wear is jeans and a t-shirt. But now? I can see dresses and long shirts and skirts and so many high heels. Purses hung from the ceiling and there were crates filled with socks and other undergarments.

I finally picked up the phone, then walked inside, touching all the different fabrics and styles.

"Emmett? I'm back. This is… it's great."

"Yeah, Bells. And you know what? There's more."

He explained the key pad to me.

1=mirror

2=closet

3=desk

4-big screen tv

5=bookcase

All of this is too much. Is anybody really this rich? This must be a dream.

"Oh, and one last thing, Bella."

"What Emmett?" Could there possibly anymore?

"I know this is a lot to take in. But there is one good thing that you'll love… You're going to my school!" I laughed. That is a very good thing.

After I hung up with Emmett, I looked around my monstrous room. This is too big. How am I supposed to sleep?

I walked out to the balcony. There was a slight breeze that blew my hair around my face as I looked up to the moon. I wonder if that guy at the hospital was looking at the same full moon. It was so beautiful, like him. I wish I knew his name.

Oh well.

I should go to sleep, I have school tomorrow.

1:39 AM

I woke with a start. A nightmare so vivid, still lingering in my head. I could still feel the knife plunging into my heart, as my dream mom finished the job she couldn't finish a few days ago.

I've been asleep for a whooping 42 minutes. It's this stupid room. It's too big, to open. Too empty. I'll have to go buy some posters and fabric.

Thinking of seeing Emmett tomorrow helped me go to sleep earlier. But how will I sleep now.

Struck with an idea I got up and grabbed one of the many pillows, and a comforter. I blindly pushed the number 5 on the keypad and grabbed a strange looking book called Wicked Lovely. I eased into the hallway and ran into a hard wall.

Okay, not a hard wall. A hard Cal (or Hal).

"Where you going?" He asked as Hal (or Cal) walked up behind him.

"Bathroom?" I said sweetly, as he eyed my covers and book suspiciously.

He shrugged his shoulders, "okay."

They followed behind me until I reached the bathroom. I stepped inside, waved, then shut the door in their faces. Giggling to myself, I placed the comforter and pillow in the bathtub. When they were in the perfect spot, I got in and made myself comfortable. I grabbed Wicked Lovely and sat back.

I turned the book upside down and began reading.

I'm late, I'm late! For a very important date!

Just kidding!

But I am late. I took a shower (after I moved the blanket and pillow out) that lasted 45 minutes. Oops. But it did relax me.

Now I have 20 minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast, and get to school… fun!

A knock came at my door. I opened it and saw Ricardo standing in front of my door. He blushed, seeing me in a towel. But thankfully, he stare at my scars.

Your um… Big friend, Emmett, is here for you. He said he wants to take you to school so he can, and I quote here 'fight of all the greedy assholes trying to put a hand on my little sister'. At least I think that's what he said." I laughed that sounded like Emmett.

"Okay, Ricardo. Tell him I'll be down in five minutes." He nodded then turned to leave.

I shut the door and pushed 2 on the key pad. As the door opened I wondered how I was supposed to find something to wear that wasn't flashy and covered me completely.

After much searching I found no long-sleeved shirts but I could wear a short-sleeved shirt and a hoodie. There were plenty of jeans, but they were all tight. The best ones were plain black skinny jeans. I found a pair of ankle converse and pulled those on.

So all in all: converse, skinny jeans, and a RENT-head hoodie is how people would first see me.

I headed down two flights of stairs and went to the kitchen where I knew Emmett would be. And sure enough he was laughing with Tituba and Inga. Well, actually, Tituba and Inga were laughing. Emmett didn't look very happy.

He kept trailing after Tituba trying to grab the plate full of bacon she had in her hands.

"No," she giggled. "This be for Bella. Hands on."

"It's hands _off, _Tituba." Inga said laughing.

I laughed too, and everything was silent.

Emmett stared at me incredously. "Did you just laugh??" he asked.

"Yeah. Got a problem?"

"Not one." He grinned.

**Rosalie's POV**

I watched my twin sibling step out of the car. First one 3-inch stiletto, then another. They completed their exit from the car in their $250 dollar borrowed dress. Borrowed from me, of course. They looked great. But their lower lip was stuck out.

"Jasper, stop pouting." I told him.

"I hate Edward. I HATE him." I laughed. Then he cursed.

"What now?" I asked.

"I broke a heel…" he groaned. Now he knew the pain of being a girl. But what he didn't know was that somebody was behind him.

"Looking good, Jaz." Emmett said, walking up to my side and placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Yeah, I agree with Emmett. Um… Will you marry me?" Edward walked over from his car.

"Shut up Edward. It's your fault. You and your stupid dare." Jasper sneered. But I could tell that he would think it was funny in the future.

"Edward!!" Alice yelled. She was jumping up and down and pointing at some girl that was standing outside of our circle. "That's her!"

"Oh." Emmett said sheepishly. "This is my best friend, Bella."

Alice ran over and gave him a hug. I looked over at Edward and saw that his eyes were huge. Alice and I will have to see how they look together. Maybe there's love in the air.

Bella looked up at Edward and blushed furiously, before looking down at a smiling pixie.

"EDDIE!" I heard a shrill voice yell. I turned to see Tanya running towards Edward in a really tight skirt. She ran into his arms trying to give him a kiss, all while he was trying to get away.

"Tanya, please. I'm busy." He pleaded.

"Oh!" She said huffily. "Fine! You know what? We're through!"

"Um… Okay…" He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Edward let's go!!" Alice called from 15 feet away. "You need to come show Bella her first class.

I laughed, grabbed Emmett's hand, and walked towards Forks High School.

**How did you like it?**

**Good? Bad?**

**Can you tell the difference between my writing, and my depressing twin's writing (BeLikeADeadFlower is her name).**

**I know it's been awhile so I made it extra long!**

**Please review!!!!**

**BeABeautifulFlower**


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella's POV**

**Hey you guys, I hadn't realized that when I posted this, that there were no paragraphs. That is not how I typed it so sorry!! I fixed it, so enjoy!Lol.**

As Alice dragged me away, I turned to see if Edward (I know his name!) was following behind us. But what I saw made me turn back around.

A girl was in his arms, and they were kissing in a very out in the open way. They looked very much in love, and I could see amusement in Rosalie's eyes.

But that's okay, right? Nothing could ever happen between me and a Greek God.

"Edward let's go!! You need to come show Bella her first class." Alice called from next to me. Edward stopped rubbing his neck and looked up at me. He muttered something to his girlfriend and jogged over.

"Alice can you please help Tanya understand?" he asked, pouting at his bouncy sister.

She giggled. "I thought you liked her mushy attention," Alice teased.

He gave her a reprimanding look and she danced off to the tall, strawberry-blonde perfection.

Edward turned to me and smiled. "Let's see that schedule, Ms. Swan." I couldn't help but let out a soft giggle. This boy is too much.

At least it seems that he's forgiven me for being rude that day in the hospital.

Thinking of those days made me tug down my sleeves further. I checked my hair, making sure that my bangs covered my left eye.

Edward's emerald orbs stared into my own dull eyes. "Done covering up that pretty face?" he asked seriously.

I shrugged and started towards a small cluster of buildings. That is, until something caught onto my hoodie, stopping me in my tracks.

I turned to a crooked grin. "Your class is that way, Bella."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lunch.

In T minus 20 seconds I'm going to enter the cafeteria and there will be stares. Then there will be the uncomfortableness of everyone wondering where I'm going to sit. I'll get my food, not that I'm hungry, and stare back at the nosy crowd until I walk towards an empty table in shame.

High School's plan of Make Bella Blush will be a complete success.

I opened the Doors of Doom and looked down as hundreds of kids looked up. I began walking towards the lunch line until I ran into somebody.

Of course.

Glancing up, I saw Jasper smiling down at me, and he was dressed like a boy too. He put his arm around my shoulders and kept me walking. Several steps later, Alice joined, grabbing my hand. Then Rosalie and Emmett made there way over, falling in behind us. Together we walked, as one big group, to the lunch line and Emmett grabbed six trays.

Wait, did I count that right? Six?

Somebody cleared their throat behind me. Edward.

He smiled at us and took two of the trays from Emmett and got in line next to me.

"What would you like Bella. We have all the delicacies you could want." He began pointing to different colored blobs. "Mac 'n' Cheese, that orange stuff, tomato soup, that pink stuff, pizza, that brown piece of cardboard, and the best of them all: green bean casserole, that brown and yellow stuff."

I giggled. "I though green beans were, you know, green."

He smiled, the laughter clear in his forest eyes. "Yeah, well, welcome to Forks High."

We sat at our own little island of a table in the corner. Emmett make racy jokes, then Rosalie would, of course, hit him. He would pout and say something random that would remind Alice of a story. Jasper would laugh and whisper something in her ear, which would make Emmett make another joke.

Edward and I sat in silence, besides the occasional chuckle and comment on something the others did or said. I could feel him next to me, and my entire body felt alive.

Which is stupid. Nothing is going to happen between us.

Stupid hormones!

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I groaned, wondering what classed I had next.

"Bella, Edward's going to be in your next class, so he'll take you there." She began backing away with everyone else and shouted, "have fun in biology!" _Thanks for drawing attention, Alice! _I thought sarcastically.

Edward put his arm around my waist to steer me around and lead me out of the cafeteria. As soon as we went through the doors he dropped his arm, but I could still feel the heat of it.

I mean, of course he let go, because he has a girlfriend and everything.

We entered biology and I brought my slip up to the teacher, Mr. Banner. He signed it and pointed to the empty seat next to the gorgeous, the amazing, the one and only: Edward Cullen.

I sat down clumsily and Mr. Banner began class.

"Okay, today we are going to mix a salve for lab burns. Of course they won't go away, but it holds off the damage before the scientist can be rushed off to the hospital. I just happened to run out, so you all will be restocking my shelves."

The class groaned as he continued enthusiastically. "Okay, rules! Pull up baggy clothing like Ms. Swan's hoodie." He coughed as in 'Now, or else'. I reluctantly pulled up the right sleeve while staring back at the class. All of their eyes were fixed on me, like pulling up sleeves was so very fascinating. "The other one as well, please," Mr. Banner said impatiently.

I passed a panicked look to Edward. He understood it, remember what was on my left arm. He subtly pulled me closer to him, and angled my body so I could pull up the sleeve and nobody could see the scars. Mr. Banner nodded in approval and continued, causing all eyes to leave my deformity. I silently thanked Edward with my eyes and hid my arm behind him.

After a few minutes I began to feel just how close Edward's body was to mine. A few more inches to the left I would practically be on top of him. If we turned towards each other I could kiss him.

No, Bella! Bad!! He's taken, and probably not interested!!!

Or maybe he is... No! Not possible, keep dreaming!

"You may begin," the evil science teacher announced. He began roaming, watching all of the partners in their work.

Edward and I began, I got out ingredients while he began measuring. Mr. Banner came up to our table and noticed my arm. He glanced at me pitifully. Seeing me for the freak I was.

"You may pull down your left sleeve, Ms. Swan." I smiled at him gratefully, despite the hatred and anger boiling inside of me for my scars.

Edward pulled my sleeve down for me, his hands playing across my arm. His fingers lightly traced the scar all the way to my wrist. He slowly brought his hand up to my face. Cupping my cheek, we whispered something so soft, I couldn't make it out. Finally, his fingers brushed away my bangs, exposing my eye and what was above it. Flinching away, I pulled myself together and got back to our lab.

Then Edward said the two words that made me want to hate him with all of my being:

"I'm sorry."

**Author's Note:** **Hey you guys. My sister is being a you-know-what.** **She said that I was a crappier writer because I only get two or three reviews per chapter.** **So could you guys review please?** **I bet money that I could get ten (and I just spent that money on a new pair of jeans). **

**So please, please, please, pretty please review. Mama needs a new belt!** **Thanks you guys!**

**Also, tell me, please:** **I have an idea for a new story.** **Should I:**

**A. start it**

**B: wait till im done with this one** **or**

**C: tell you about it in a review then you'll decide**

**Please tell me!!** **BeABeautifulFlower**


	8. Chapter 8

**Meh...**

**In the bottom author's note is:**

**a. The results of my bet  
****b. The summaries of the stories I might start  
****c. Song's that I listened to while writing this  
****d. Very Important Message**

**Edward's POV**

Bella wouldn't talk to me for the remainder of the class period. She just froze up and stiffly handed me what we needed. Did I say something wrong?

This girl is driving my crazy. I want to know her every thought, because she's a part of all of mine. I shouldn't be thinking so much about an almost complete stranger, but it's like I can't help it.

We finished our salve first and handed it in. The rest of the hour was spent silent and awkward. When the bell rang Bella rushed out, not saying goodbye and stumbling over her shadow a few times. She never looked back, and I was left alone.

Which shouldn't... But it does.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

**Bella's POV**

I rushed out of the classroom. Repeating a mantra over and over:

_I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna yell or scream. I don't have feelings for Edward. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna yell or scream. I don't have feelings for Edward. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not-_

"Bella!" A thin, brown-haired girl called my name, catching up to me. I think her name is Jessica.

"Hey," I mumbled, not stopping.

"Bella, you're going the wrong way. You have gym, right?" I nodded. "Me too, let's go." We turned around, and she kept up the conversation all the way. The coach let me sit out today, and I sat in the corner and drifted.

Green eyes suddenly found their way into my thoughts, making remember. Making me regret.

_I don't have feelings for Edward..._

I remembered seeing him for the first time. When he walked in on my changing. The blush that rose to his face in embarrassment. The way he stuttered as he looked me over. The anger I felt, the way I lashed out at him verbally.

_I'm not gonna yell or scream..._

I thought back further. The 12 people in black. Attacking, so fast, so swift. Like they'd done it hundred of times before. I was just another job. Why so many? Why me? My mom... Her illness. Everything I've done. I belong in prison. In an asylum. In a grave...

_I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry..._

Even as I repeated the words to myself, over and over and over, the tears fell. But nobody saw me. They carried on, smiling and laughing and loving.

All what I couldn't do anymore. Not for real, anyway.

So I cried all the tears that had been held inside for so long. Through the beatings, the whips, the burns and verbal insults. I didn't cry when I was tied up in a basement. I didn't cry when I was raped by my next door neighbor for money. I didn't cry when I had to eat my own filth.

But I'm crying because Edward thinks I'm pitiful. And he said 'sorry'...

Why did he have to say that?

Why...?

**Edward's POV**

I waited outside the gym for Bella. Wanting to say anything. Needing to hear her voice. See a smile, a real smile.

She walked out, head down, shoulders slumped. Trying to be invisible. But I'll always see her.

"Bella." She didn't turn, just kept walking.

I followed from a distance as she walked across the student parking lot towards Emmett's car, where he was already there talking to Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice. She completly ignored all four of them and opened the passenger door and got in.

I walked up to my friends and the gave me a funny look.

"What did you do?" Alice asked, glaring at me.

"Nothing," I held up my hands in surrender. "At least, I don't think."

Alice slapped me, and Jasper gave me a funny look. Rosalie just got into her precious car, leaving Emmett and I alone.

"Hey, man," Emmett practically whispered. "Be gentle with her. She's been through too much. She couldn't handle having anyone breaking her heart. Especially not you." I stared at him in disbelief as he got into his car. I've never seen him so serious. But I could tell he meant it.

They drove away, as did Rosalie and Jasper. Alice honked the horn of my volvo, time to go.

o.0.o.0.o

**6 hours later**

I turned my cell phone around in my hands. Wondering for the hundreth time if I should just do it.

I went to contacts, found the right name, and let my finger hover over the call button. Finally, I pushed it.

The line rang three times before someone answered.

"Emmett," he said gruffly.

"Um, hey. Could I maybe... Talk to Bella? I know you said earlier that she was spending the night. So... Please? Just to say goodnight." Please say yes, I need this.

"I don't know Edward. I'll have to ask her, hold on." I could hear the shuffle of him putting his big hand over the speaker. It was a moment before I heard muffled speaking. A rustle as the speaker was uncovered and Emmett came back on with a sigh.

"Okay, Ed." He said reluctantly. "Just watch what you say." I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.

"Hello?" A small voice asked. It was melodic, though. Heavenly.

"Hey, Bella. Um, I just wanted to say goodnight, sweet dreams, all that stuff." Wow, way to sound cliche and retarded all in the same sentence Eddie.

"Oh, well..." It was awkward for a second. "I'm sorry." She said in a rush. What?

"What for?" I asked.

"For being rude during class. And at the hospital. It's not your fault I'm deformed, that I'm broken. So... I'm sorry."

"Bella, don't apologize. And you're not defomed. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. And even if you are broken, I'll always be here to help you put yourself back together." Why don't you propose to her while you're at it, idiot.

I mentally cursed myself as Bella didn't say anything back.

"Goodnight, Edward," she finally whispered.

"Wait," I practically shouted. "Please, don't run away."

"Sweet dreams," she choked out, then she hung up.

A song ran through my head as I thought about what I had told her.

_I'm in trouble, I'm an addict, I'm addicted to this girl,  
She's got my heart tied in a knot and my stomach in a whirl.  
Even worse I can't stop calling her, she's all I want and more.  
I mean, damn! What's not to adore?_

_I'm in trouble, I'm so cliche, see that word just wears me out.  
Makes me feel like just another boy to laugh and joke about.  
But even worse I can't stop calling her, I love to hear that voice.  
I mean, honestly, I'm left with no choice..._

**Okay, so I lost the bet. I only got nine. So Close! I was happy to get those, but I had to pay up. :(**

**Thanks to:**

**1. The Courageous Squirrel for being the first to review  
2. Vampire-Girl1992 for sympathizing with me about annoying siblings  
3. Katie1112 for telling me I wasn't a crappy writer  
4. Jules452 for telling me how much she liked my story  
5. Starthevampire for a really really really long review :P  
6. Kolored for virtually slapping my sister. Lol  
7. DanielleTaylorCullen for tell _me _to slap my sister and to tell her shut up (which I did)  
8. Writegirl94 for telling me to keep writing  
9. Lyngan for reading all the way through Don't Look At Me and Forgotten and giving me very good advice. Which I will follow!**

**Okay I have several stories on my mind**

**Not Another Love Story.**

Bella has had feelings for her best friends brother, Edward, for a long time now. But he's just not feeling the same way. Edward is sure that Tanya is his true love, but she broke up with him long ago. Jacob trails after Bella day and night, but she can't love him. This love square is too complicated, and Bella is sure that her life will not be another love story.

**Intertwined**

Bella has two demeaning jobs, using her body to pay the rent. But when she bumps into a green-eyed god, he turns her world upside down.

**Teacher Knows Best**

They know it's wrong. But when music teacher, Edward Mason, and student, Bella Swan, get together, they just can't help but feel something. Bella wouldn't flirt back with beautiful , but then again, teacher knows best.

Tell me what you think.

**Song's listened to during the making of this chapter:**

**Drop the Girl by Hit the Lights  
****Numb by Linkin Park  
****Mama by My Chemical Romance  
I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic At The Disco  
Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen  
Addicted by Saving Abel  
My Paper Heart by The All American Rejects  
Buried Myself Alive by The Used  
Trouble by NeverShoutNever  
My Immortal by Evanescence  
Thanks For The Memories by Fall Out Boy (P.S. I don't like abbreviating it :P)  
Gloria by Hawk Nelson**

**VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**I need someone to write a new summary for this story. PLEASE!!! PRETTY PLEASE!!!!!!!! I'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay there's a poll up about which summary to use. Please vote! Even if you never review and don't do these things, just please do this!!!!**

**Oh, and I don't own Twilight... (Except when I'm asleep [insert devil horns here])**

**Edward's POV**

For the rest of the week Bella ignored me at school. In biology all we did was copy notes, but every few minutes I would stare at her, begging her to look back. But she never did. It was bothering me that I didn't know what to do. I felt so helpless when she wouldn't talk to me.

Tanya broke up with me for real. Apparently I wasn't paying enough attention to her, and she's right, I wasn't. Bella was all that was on my mind. The composition I started that was inspired by Bella lay unfinished. There was no way to end it without the notes sounding ragged and incomplete. Broken.

Every night I called her, trying to tell her that for some reason, I was obsessed. She always just said goodnight and hung up. Running away from her feelings. Unless she didn't have any for me.

But I've got to try.

o.0.o.0.o.

**Friday**

**Lunch Time**

I spotted Bella walking a few feet ahead of me, heading towards the cafeteria.

"Bella," I called out. She didn't turn around, just kept walking. I jogged to catch up and grabbed her right arm softly and she stopped.

"What, Edward?" She asked cooly. I turned her to face me, needing to see those chocolate eyes.

I ran my hand down her arm and tangled my fingers up with hers. My other hand lifted her chin up so she had to look at me.

"You've been ignoring me," I whispered softly. "Why?"

"Edward," she sighed. "You've made how you feel clear, don't think I haven't understood. But I just can't... I need-... You just don't get it."

I leaned closer. "So explain it to me."

She gave me a hard look. "You wouldn't understand. You have no idea about... Just leave me alone." She tried to tug away, but I wouldn't let her.

I pushed the sleeve of her shirt up on her right arm and began playing my fingers up and down the pale skin. Bella shivered, and closed her eyes. I brought my hand up and cupped her cheek, and she leaned into it.

"Don't try to tell me you don't have _some _feelings. I can tell that you do. You've just got to open up to me. I won't hurt you."

Her eyes shot open and she glared. "Don't tell me how I feel!" She tugged away opened the door to the cafeteria.

"Bella, please, stop running away. I'm here, open and exposed for you. Can't you give me something in return?" But she acted like I didn't say anything and walked inside, leaving by myself.

Open and exposed...

**Bella's POV**

**10:00**

My cell phone rang at ten sharp, just like every other night this past week. Emmett finally gave Edward my cell number after Wednesday, he was getting fed up.

_Come back, don't leave (keep stalling)._

_Come back to me I'm falling in love._

Hawk Nelson sang out, coaxing me to pick up. But I didn't.

_The last thing you said to me made it seem like this just won't last._

_Time and time again, breaking our plans from the past._

Okay, phone, mock me why don't you?

I picked up, not wanting to hear anymore of the song.

"Hello?" I asked, knowing exactly who it was.

"Bella," Edward rushed, "just listen, okay? I know what I said today... It wasn't... Nice. I should wait, keep my feelings to myself. But I can't. You are... Amazing. More than amazing, there is no word for you. You're beautiful and smart and strong. But I want to know more. I want to see you smile, I want to hear you laugh, I want to make you happy. I want to hold you in my arms and protect you from all that is bad. I want to be your guardian angel. Please... Just... Bella, please."

I didn't say anything for awhile, absorbing all that he said.

"Edward..." I sighed, not sure what to say.

"Please just don't play with me, my paper heart will bleed. This wait for destiny won't do, be with me, please, I beseech you. Simple things, they make you run away. Catch you if I can," he quoted.

"Edward..." I said again, my heart tugging at the edges.

"When I see your smile, tears run down my face that I can't replace. And now that I'm strong I have figured out how this world turns cold and it breaks my soul. And I know I can find deep inside me I can be the one. I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven."

"Please..." I whispered, I could feel my heart breaking. He really is falling for me. But I can't... I'll get hurt. I want to... I just... Can't.

"Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash. The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you. The moon glows, the river flows... But I die, without you."

"I used to be somebody else. I'm holding out for a good reason." I finally said back, fighting to hold my tears in.

He sighed. "Goodnight, Bella. I'll talk to you on Monday." He hung up and I dropped my phone, crying out, as if the disconnection ripped me open.

Hal and Cal rushed in and looked at me crumpled on the floor, bewildered. They started freaking out, wondering what to do. Finally, one of them picked me up and put me under the covers on the bed.

"I'll have Tituba make you some hot chocolate and bring up some cookies, okay?" I nodded numbly, not really caring.

I let the tears fall, just as they had on Monday. But these were worse, these burned my skin. They left hot trails in their wake as the dripped down my face.

Several minutes Tituba and Inga walked in with trays full of chocolate. They sat beside me, singing softly, and telling me it was going to be okay until I fell asleep.

I dreamed of a green-eyed, bronze-haired angel. And I wanted him.

I wanted to kiss his lips, hold his hand, run my fingers through that gorgeous hair.

But everytime I got close he would run away and laugh. "Don't run away from me me," he would say mockingly. So I would chase after him again, but I never got him.

I woke up with a pain in my chest and a headache.

Edward...

**Okay. So songs that inspired or were used in this chapter were:**

**In Then End by Linkin Park  
Jason's Song by Hawk Nelson  
My Paper Heart by The All American Rejects  
Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus  
Without You from RENT (the movie/broadway)  
Somebody Else by Hawk Nelson  
Affinity by Red Car Wire  
Numb by Linkin Park  
Pieces Mended by The Used  
The Way We Talk by The Maine**

**Special Thanks to My Reviewers:**

**DanielleTaylorCullen for being my first reviewer this chapter.  
Katie1112 for her very enthusiastic (and numbered) review. (NeverShoutNever RULES, right Katie?  
I love Edward and Toast for the compliment on my summary  
StartheVampire for the even longer review and opening up to me. That was so sweet! :)  
Lyngan for PMing me a summary and your opinion!  
Kolored for her encouragement (and honestly a really interesting name!) :P**

**This is probably the last update until after the 24th. That's why I've been updating so much. I'm going to be gone for a week. So, yeah. I might get another one out but who knows? Love you all!!! (Especially the ones who reviewed!!!)**

**Thanks for reading! Please check out Forgotten!!!**

**Peace, Love, Volkswagon!  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm back! Vote on the poll on my profile please!!**

**Anyways, back to the drama...**

**Bella's POV**

**3:48 a.m. **

**A time of second guessing...**

_It doesn't help to get too familiar, to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It's all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them._

**Monday Morning**

**Edward's POV**

I stepped out of my volvo, wincing as Alice carelessly slammed the door. My energetic sister skipped over to where our friends were standing in a circle. Jasper was in the middle, waving his hands around enthusiastically, a smile on his face.

When he had come over yesterday, Jasper told us about a gig him and his band got for wednesday night at the local under 18 club. I could tell by his expression that he was telling everyone else. Everybody looked excited.

Well, everbody except a lone beauty who was staring off into the distance.

Bella.

She looked different, though. Not as... Dark.

I know I came on too strongly Friday night, but my feelings for her... They run so deep. I feel a gravitational pull, forcing me to become closer and closer.

Finally, I walked over the the circle. Alice was already there, finishing Jasper's sentences about the band's performance. I ignored their story-telling and stood next to Bella.

I didn't speak, and I didn't look down to try and meet her eyes. Instead I just grabbed her hand, holding it so that she could pull away if she wanted to. And I waited for her arm to tug away from mine.

But her hand never left mine. Instead, it tightened. Neither of us looked towards eachother, but at the group of people closest to us. The fact that we weren't talking didn't stop a grin from spreading across my face.

**Emmett's POV**

I noticed something different about Bella as she walked out of her giant house.

Her hair had this complicated look to it, with a headband and those clip things. But not only that. She wasn't wearing dark colors like black and brown. Nope, the opposite.

Bella's jeans were white and one pocket had a gold butterfly stitched on. Her shirt was striped with pink and orange, which matched those wierd, flat shoes that chicks wear nowadays (and now apparently that she wears...). It was hard to believe but Bella looked like a...

Girl.

I didn't say anything as we rode to school. But when Bella was flipping through radio stations, she stopped at one that was playing a happy pop song. I held my tongue, not wanting to ruin this change.

Before I even stopped the car, Bella hopped out of the car, turning frantically. When she located her new-found friends she stopped and scrutinized who was there. But it was only Rosalie and Jasper talking with a group of other kids.

I couldn't help but notice her looking slightly disappointed.

We walked over and people left, leaving just Rosalie, Jasper, Bella, and I. Jasper began telling us about a gig that Another Stormy Night (his band) got. Rosalie was already planning her outfit, but Bella kept staring into the parking lot. Perking up everytime a car door shut, but looking down when the car wasn't a silver volvo.

Finally Alice bounced into our circle, hugging Jasper in congratulations. And a few seconds behind her came Edward.

He didn't say anything, not a single sarcastic comment. All he did was walk up to Bella and take her hand.

Neither said a word, they just... held hands. I couldn't even come up with a good joke to make fun of them with. They just looked too innocent.

And Bella had smile on her face as she listened silently as her friends told about their weekends.

**Edward's POV**

**Lunch**

I practically ran to the cafeteria, searching for Bella. I want to hold her hand again, I want to see her secret smile.

I waited at the door, scanning the crowds, looking for a glimpse of mahogany hair.

And then I saw her. She was looking for me too, but she hadn't yet seen me. Her brown eyes were searching diligently, and she was biting her lip. Finally, her eyes met mine, and she grinned, heading towards me.

Life is perfect at this very moment, because an angel is smiling because of me.

**Bella's POV**

**Science**

I'm sitting at my desk with Edward inches away. We keep glancing at eachother, then looking away when our eyes meet.

I feel like I'm middle school again. You know, the awkwardness after the boy confesses his feelings for the girl, and she hasn't confessed back like eachother, but you just don't know what to say.

And you want to stand next to them, if only to stare and say nothing.

Mr. Banner walked in, pusing a old t.v. with an ancient VCR. The dull roar of students quieted to slight whispers. Mr. Banner turned off the lights and started the movie.

"Chemicals and you," and deep voice said. "Why are chemicals important, you ask? Because they are your friends." I zoned out instead, facing Edward.

He looked into my eyes, then grabbed a piece of paper and began writing. Finally, he shoved it at me.

_You okay?_

I glanced up at him before scribbling back my response.

_**Why?**_

He frowned, his eyebrows furrowing.

_You look scared and confused. And you look off in another world._

He's perceptive. Unbelievably so. I sighed and wrote down the truth.

_**I'm scared of us. I'm not used to this kind of thing.**_

Edward stared at my words then grinned devilishly.

_What do you mean __us__? And what kind of thing?_

So, he wants me to clarify my feelings. That's... complicated.

_**I mean you and me... Together. And the kind**_

_**of thing where you like me and I like you.**_

_**It's an unknown thing for me.**_

_**I'm crossing over to a new area.**_

I could see many emotions flash over his face. Finally, he turned to me and smiled, then grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze.

He looked so happy. Not only by his smile, but by his eyes that were glittering.

_Will you go with me to see Another Stormy Night?_

I grinned, we're almost back to the middle school times again. But despite that, I nodded.

**11:26**

**A time of composition notebook writings... :**

_At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know, If you're willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular._

**A/N**

**Okay please please please vote on my poll. Only 4 people have voted, and I don't think it's fair that someone should win when all they have is two votes, and the others have one.**

**How did you like the beginning and ending thing? Good? Bad?**

**Review and tell me what you think!**

**Thanks to:**

**-Katie1112 for reviewing first and trust me, I'm not dissing the numbers. I love them!**

**-Lyngan, sorry I didn't update until now. And RENT is my favorite movie but I don't listen to RJA that much :D**

**-Erinxoxo for your encouragement! I'm glad you got to my story!**

**-I love Edward and Toast for your enthusiastic review! Yeah, I liked the last chapter too. But it wasn't quite my favorite...**

**-Vampire-Girl1992, your hopes have come true. Lol, well, I guess they're not quite together, but they're really close :)**

**Please review and you get a shout-out YAY!!**

**I didn't listen to any songs during this chapter. But I was watching Grey's Anatomy reruns, can you guess how that got into the story?? It's not that hard if you watch the show!! Love!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Meh**

**Bella's POV**

**Wednesday 6:30 p.m.**

_The key to surviving life is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces._

In fifteen minutes Emmett should be here. Twenty minutes after that we'll be at Orange, a club that let kids under 18 in on wedesdays. Two minutes after that, after going through the long line, bouncer, and wading into the sea of teens, I should be able to see Edward.

So, T-minus 37 minutes.

I'm am so very desperate.

Wait! The clock just changed.

36 minutes.

Besides the fact of being desperate, I am also nervous. I'm wearing very tight gray skinny jeans, a dressy looking long-sleeved shirt, and heels.

Wait, did you read that right?

Yes, you did.

Heels!!

I feel so much for Edward. Tonight is going to be the best night of my life. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it.

I'm going to have _fun._

**Edward's POV**

There's a knock on my door cam just as I was rolling up the sleeve of my shirt. I'm ready to have my date with Bella. I'm ready to make her fall for me.

"Come in," I called without turning from my reflection.

My father walked in and stood behind me, watching as I fixed my shirt and started playing with my unruly hair.

"Planning on going somewhere tonight?" He asked casually. Too casually.

"Yeah, actually, I am. I'm going to-" but he cut me off.

"I need you." Wait what? "I'm short-staffed and I need someone to pick up the slack at the hospital. Please, Edward. You remember those twins? They have heart problems that have worsened recently. I need you to keep an eye on them."

"Dad..." I started. This is an important night? How could he?

"Please, Edward. I don't know who else to ask." He gave me a desperate look.

I sighed. "Yeah, I'll leave in five minutes. Will it be all night?"

He nodded, causing me to sigh again.

Bella...

**Rosalie's POV**

Another Stormy Night is about to enter onstage and Edward isn't here yet. I'm half worried for Bella, half irritated at him for being an idiot..

I walked up to Bella and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay? He should be here by now." Which I'm sure she knows, but still.

"He'll show up," she told me confidently.

I just shook my head.

0.o.0.o.

One hour.

Bella has been waiting for Edward for one whole hour. Jasper's band isn't even playing anymore.

We're all just sitting at a table, watching Bella watch the door.

"Bella..." Emmett began.

"No." She told him. "He's coming. He said he would be here, so he will."

Emmett leaned over and whispered in my ear. "She's in denial."

Bella looked back at us, as if she heard. "I'm not in denial. He'll show."

**Edward's POV  
**

"Who are you thinking about?"

I turned from my chair that's facing the window to look at Rain.

"Don't you mean 'what are you thinking about?'"

She shook her head. "No, I mean who. You have that look on your face. Like you're missing someone."

I smiled at her. These girls, sometimes they act like they're 50 instead of 15. "It's just a girl," I said nonchalantly.

"But she's not 'just a girl' to you, is she?" Rain gave me a grin. "You had a date with her tonight, didn't you? And instead you have to hang out with some sick losers."

"You're not losers. Sure I'd rather be with my girl, but you guys aren't half bad either."

Renee piped in from through the thin wall division. "Ooooh, Edward's in _l-o-v-e._"

I got up and pulled the wall back a few inches. "Shush, girl. Or I'm telling that you're eating candy." She stuck her tongue out at me and popped another skittle into her mouth.

I was going to squeeze through and steal some when Rain began seizing.

I rushed over and checked her moniter. Her heart wasn't beating right, the rythym was all off. I push the call button, paged my dad, and grabbed the defibrillator.

"Somebody help!" I shouted. Please... Help.

**Bella's POV**

He's coming. He'll be here. He's going to show up. He'll arrive.

I don't know how many ways I can say it, but I'll say them all until I see his face walking towards me.

Edward wouldn't just ditch me like that. Would he?

But he's so sweet and he acts like he truly likes me. He would never stand me up.

He'll show up. He's coming. He'll arrive. He's gonna be here.

He just has to.

**Edward's POV**

"How is she?" I asked my dad as he came out of Rain's room.

He glanced up and gave me a wary look. "She okay now, but her heart is even more worse for wear. We'll have to find a transplant soon or she won't make it."

I nodded. "Can I go in?"

Father gave me a funny look. "Are you becoming... Attached?"

I quickly shook my head. "No, just worried. It was so unexpected."

"Alright," he said. "But only a few minutes, she needs to rest."

I walked in and sat on the bed next to Rain. She was asleep, but she looked pale. Her thin arms looked skinnier than normal, and veins were visible through her skin.

"Hey," I whispered. "It's going to be okay. We'll get you a new heart. You'll be alright." But even as I said it, I wasn't so sure. Her blood type is so rare, and she's not even close to the top of the list for receiving hearts.

"You'll be fine." I said again, forcing more confidence into my words.

"Edward," my father said from the door. "Let's go."

Slowly I got up, staring into his eyes before looking away.

And what did I see staring back at me, you ask?

Pity. Pity for a fool in denial.

**Bella's Composition Notebook:**

_Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?_

**Author's Note.**

**Not much to say on this one. **

**So, thanks:**

**-Airamcullen for being the first reviewer and for reading I Am Free  
-Starthevampire for another really long review. It was really fun to read.  
-Katie1112 for of course, the numbers, and your great insights. I always look forward to your reviews!  
-Beautifully Wiccan for reviewing for the first time. Yeah, it does move a little fast, but I don't like slow boring parts so I try to skip them!  
-xxbellamamiixx for telling me to 'keep it up'! Some people forget that writers like to be told to keep going.  
Vampire-Girl1992, I'm glad that you're satisfied! Lol, thanks for reviewing!**

**Thanks to those peoples!**

**Stay tuned for chapter twelve of...**

**Don't Look At Me!!!**


	12. Internet

Hey guys, we hate these too.

We don't have internet. And we probably won't for a few weeks. We're at a library but we don't have enough time to write chapters. We know this is a poor excuse but there is no way we can write chapters.

We'll update as soon as we can. And it will be many chapters at once. But at the moment, there is nothing we can do.

Sorrysorrysorry!!!

-The twins


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey, guys. We're working on it. Stay with us!!! Please!**

_A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. "Never leave that till tomorrow," he said," Which you can do today." This is the man who discovered electricity. You'd think more of us would listen to what he had to say._

_**Edward's POV**_

**2:32 AM**

As my father led me out of the hospital, I took out my phone. I knew it was useless to try and call Bella in the hospital because of the horrible reception. But as I stepped into the chilly almost morning air, the bars slowly creeped up until I had the full amount of bars.

I almost searched through my contacts to find Bella's number. Almost.

That was, until I looked at the time. It's too late and she's probably asleep. At least, that's what I might as well tell myself.

I can just call her later, or talk to her at school. Or, at the latest, tonight.

_Later, I'll call her later. It doesn't matter now. Later..._

**Bella's POV**

**3:16**

He's not going to call. I want him to, though. I'm willing him to, staring intently at my phone, as if will and hope alone are enough to make it ring.

But it's not going to happen. He's probably laughing will some other girl. Holding her hand, making her smile, not thinking about me. Not realizing that I'm thinking about him.

_No. _Stop. There's a reason.

Oh, what the hell.

Maybe if I lie down and close my eyes, he'll go away.

I'll just think later.

_Later._

____________

_"_Bella! Stop pushing snooze and get up. You need to go to school." Hal (or Cal) yelled through my door. I groaned and turned away from the gray light streaming through my window. It was uninviting.

Plus, I hurt. Everywhere. My head, my chest, my whole entire body. Agony and pain.

School? What school? What's school?

**Edward's POV**

"Edward, hun. Please get up. You've got school." Esme was shaking my arm gently, being gentle and stern as only she can be.

I rolled over and opened my eyes slightly. "I don't feel good," I mumbled in my little kid voice.

"Oh, my," she fretted in her mother voice. "What doesn't feel good?"

I turned back to the face the wall and closed my eyes again. "Everything."

She, pet the back of my head for a moment, and shuffled out, closing the door as softly as possible. I could hear her go down the stairs and mutter with father. Their soft noises, though unrecognizable, were soothing, and they slowly lulled me back to sleep.

**10 hours later**

"Eddie, get up. You need to eat something." Alice was sitting at the foot of my bed with a tray of food.

I raised up an eyebrow, wondering what she was doing pretending to care. "Plus," she added, "you need to call Bella." Ah, that's better.

"Alice," I started, prepared to procrastinate.

But she cut me off. "Nope, no way you're getting out of this. Call her, now." I slowly pushed myself up, sore from not moving all day and I **reached** for my cell. I searched for Bella's number slowly, then finally pushed send.

It rang once.

Twice

Three, four, five times.

Once more than, "Hey, it's Bella. I'm out doing something important without you, so if hope long enough there will be a beep, and you can leave a message." I felt a small smile form at my lips. Then there was a beep.

"Bella, hey, it's me, Edward. Um, yeah. I'm really sorry Bella. I know it's not enough, but if you could please, please, find it in you heart to call me back. I-... I need to apologize to you. Something happened, it was terrible and-... Just call me back Bella. If only to scream at me. I need to hear your voice. And, just please understand that-" I was interrupted by a another beep, telling me my message was too long. I shrugged my shoulders and hung up.

And waited.

_Call me back,_ I silently prayed.

**Bella's POV**

"-at me. I need to hear your voice. And, just please understand that-" The long message cut off. Though, I already knew it would. Because this happened to be the eleventh time I'd listened it. Sadly.

But, maybe I just can't bring myself to call him back. _Liar, you're scared of his excuses._

Maybe, I don't want to hear _his _voice. _Liar, you've been listening to his voice over and over. (And over and over again.)_

Maybe I don't like him anymore. _Liar, your heart is breaking, you want him bad._

Maybe I've given up. _Yeah right. Then why are you arguing with yourself?_

I finally hung up on my voice mail and went to my contacts. I scrolled down until the E's. Edward was the first one, right before Emmett. I pressed send...

Then immediately hung up, before it even rang.

_Scaredy cat._

Shut up, inner me. I can figure this out on my own.

_No you can't._

I screamed and swung out my arm, hitting my lamp. It flew, smashing again the headboard. The light bulb and part of the lamp shattered. Shards of glass flew everywhere. My right arm stung as I used it to cover my face. Everything hurt.

"Bella," Cal (or Hal) yelled from my door. I didn't hear anything else because I passed out.

_________________

An incessant beeping woke me from my murky dreams.

"Hey, you're awake." A melodic voice cut through what was left of my unawareness. I opened my eyes to meet the golden ones of . I'd never met him before, but the slight likeness between him and Edward was almost startling.

"Water, please," I croaked. He handed me a cup with a straw, and I sipped while studying him.

"You need some stitches in your arm, but nothing life threatening. Your blood pressure was pretty high when you got here, but everything seems quite normal, now. We're going to give you some pain meds and you'll be on your way." I just nodded, practically gulping down the water. He smiled, then left.

His absence was soon filled by my father's. He stared at me like I was one of his clients. Sad and pathetic and lonely.

I mostly ignored him, though. All I felt like doing was staring at the door.

Waiting, waiting for my hero to walk through the door.

He didn't even have to rescue me. All he had to do was pretend to love me.

**Edward's POV**

"Oh, and you should know that Isabella Swan is here," my father said, finishing up his report. I almost choked on my orange juice.

I started getting out of bed, pulling back the covers. "But don't get up," he said. "I don't want you here. You need to stay and bed. I'm a doctor and your father. So, for once, listen to me."

___________

_I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong?_

**A/N**

**Hey, more to come tomorrow guys. Please, stick with us on this. **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: We're improving right??**

_You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be—white dress, prince charming who'd carry you away to a castle on a hill. You'd lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had a complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, prince charming—they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you crow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true._

**Edward's POV**

What does he mean he doesn't want me there'? Why not? I need to see Bella! This is insanity, this is craziness. Is it bad? I just... I don't understand.

"Why, dad?" I asked into the phone after my internal rant.

"Because, son. I've learned that Bella wasn't at school either today. I have a feeling that you two had an argument, and I don't want drama in my hospital. So, just stay home." I sighed at his mad reasoning's.

"And if I don't comply? If I don't follow your orders? What then?"

There was a moment of silence, and then I heard him sigh. "I suppose I couldn't stop you. I know I sound like some binding parent, and you probably feel that I don't understand. But don't do as you wish, son. Do what's right." With that, he hung up.

I know what the right thing is.

**Bella's POV**

_I'm awake, I can feel it. But I can't move. All around me are doctors in white scrubs. 'What's going on?' I try to scream. But I don't make a sound. 'Help!'. Still, nothing. I look down and see a straitjacket. What's happening to me?_

_A doctor walks up. He has crazy eyes._

_"This won't hurt a bit, Bella." I close my eyes, because doctor's lie when they say that. But I don't feel a thing._

_After a minute I open my eyes. Right in front of my is Edward._

_"I'm here for you, love. I won't let anything go wrong." While he's says this, he brings out a case and opens it up. Inside is a complicated looking contraption. _

_'What is that?' I ask in my head. Edward looks into my eyes, and nods towards the contraption questioningly, like he understood my thought._

_"This?" I nod, but then stop when my head throbs. "It's what I'm going to use to break you heart." He says with a grin. _

_Edward pulls it out and starts it up. "This won't hurt a bit."_

* * *

"Bella. Bella! Wake up. Come on, kid. Wake _up_!" I open my eyes, screaming, and see my father. He's staring at me, wide-eyed, scared.

"What- What's going on? Why aren't I-" I put my hand over my heart and felt it race like wild. I'm not dead, my heart is intact (physically), I'm okay (again, physicdally).

Two nurses and rushed in, looking frantic. "What happened?" the doctor asked.

"I had a nightmare," I whispered. The nurses looked at me disapprovingly while gave me a worried glance.

"Bella, I'd like to keep you overnight. I'm afraid you might be suffering from anxiety. Which would be normal, considering your...previous experiences." He looked at my arms, exposed because I had to take of my jacket. I looked over at my father, who nodded along with the doctor.

Falling back harshly against the pillow, I closed my eyes and sighed. The room became silent and I could hear rain ram against the window.

_Rain, rain, go away  
Come again another day  
If you are here to stay  
Please make my dreams okay._

**_Edward's POV  
_**

I'm pacing.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Stop.

_Don't go. Don't go. Don't go._

Back and forth. Bac-

Knocking.

"Edward," Alice stuck her head into my room. "Bella's in the hospital, you should go see her," she backed her head back out and shut the door.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Stop.

_Go. Go. GO!_

Back and forth. Back and for-

"Edward, if you don't stop stomping across the room, I'm going to explode." Esme shouted at my door. Then she opened the door and walked in. "And get back in bed. You look pale." She walked out, practically slamming my door.

Back and forth. Stop.

_Don't go. Go. Don't go. Go._

_STOP!!_

**Bella's POV**

I opened my eyes from a dreamless sleep. I looked over at the window, the sound of rain gone. My father is sitting at the seat there, asleep.

Huh, why is he here instead of Hal (or Cal). Or even my crazy family of Tituba, Inga, and Ricardo.

I was about to close my eyes again when I heard a commotion out by the nurse's desk outside my door.

That's odd, it's late.

"Sir! You can't go in there," a nurse shouted. I sat up and looked towards the door.

When I saw who it was I smiled.

"My hero," I whispered.

_At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important, happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away._

**_Muahahahahahahaha, cliff hanger!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**


	15. Chapter 15

_Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need._

**Last Chapter Recap:**

I was about to close my eyes again when I heard a commotion out by the nurse's desk outside my door.

That's odd, it's late.

"Sir! You can't go in there," a nurse shouted. I sat up and looked towards the door.

When I saw who it was I smiled.

"My hero," I whispered.

**Bella's POV**

I knew that if I waited long enough, he would come. It was inevitable.

He waited a second before entering, casting a worried glance towards my sleeping father. Slowly, quietly, he made his way to the bed, then he sat and scrutinized my face.

"How are you, Bells?" Emmett whispered.

"I missed you," I replied. Love for my make-shift brother coursed through me.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, Dr. Clullen thinks I might have anxiety. I think he also mentioned something about post traumatic stress. I was too out of it though." He made a face at my answer, because it wasn't what he was asking. I knew, he knew, but that was okay.

"Isabella?" My father stirred over in his place by the window. His eyes opened, and he suddenly became alert, sitting up quickly then glaring at Emmett.

"It's alright," I assured. "Go home and shower. Get some real sleep."

He gave Emmett another once-over. "I'll be back early tomorrow." He glanced at his watch. "Or today, I guess." Charlie stalked out, leaving me alone with my best friend. He trusts me?

"Does this have anything to do with Edward?" Emmett asked, trying to get the same answer as before.

I nodded, about to explain, but I heard the second commotion of the night.

"Excuse me, but it's not visiting hours. I must ask you to--Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realize that it was you." Emmett and I looked questioningly at each other, wondering who was getting such an important visitor.

And, not for the first time, a silhouette was at my doorway.

But this time, I did not smile.

**Edward's POV**

I am driving.

Where to?

Nowhere.

Why?

Because I love Bella.

Who?

The most important person in the whole world.

What?

Yeah, I know, it's crazy.

How?

I don't know, I'm not in charge of these kinds of things.

Wait.

I pull in to a gas station and shut off the car. Nobody else is driving around, they're all safe in the bed's, sleeping, dreaming.

But I, I have this obsession that's taking over my whole being. I need to stop. I need to think. But I can't. For all of my thoughts are conquered by a mahogany-haired beauty.

I start the car and pull out, back onto the long road that bears nothing. Except for me.

How sad.

I'm tired of saying wait. I'm tired of thinking stop.

It's time to act. It's time to go.

I press on the gas, practically flooring it.

Act. Go. Act. Go. Act. Go. Act. Go.

Act.

**Bella's POV**

"Why are you here?" Emmett growled. "You're not welcome. You've broken our trust." I put my hand on top of Emmett's, mentally telling him to calm down.

"I'm here to explain, to apologize. I have a reason. I did not leave Bella for some petty excuse. Please, hear me out." Edward was here, in my room. Not the scary one in my nightmare, the real, honest-to-goodness, Edward. And Emmett was trying to throw him out.

"I don't care. She's in this... Place, because of you." The vein on Emmett jaw was so prominent that I knew I had to stop him from freaking out. But my mouth wasn't opening. It's like my dreams, but I know it's real.

Edward looked as if he would cry. His eyes tired looking, purple bruise-like shadows under them made him look sad. Almost pathetic, but not quite. Somehow, he maintained dignity.

Somehow, he still looked like a god.

"I need to explain myself. And Bella needs to at least know what happens. Why don't you let _her _send me away, instead of speaking for her?"

"Because!" Emmett exploded. "She's fragile, she not whole. And you came along, supposedly going to help, then you crushed her. She's a kid, Edward. She's not strong enough to go through your drama." Again, I tried to speak, but my vocal chords weren't working.

"She's not a kid anymore, Emmett. She's not frail, or else she wouldn't have survived all she's been through. I realize that you've always been there for. But someday she'll have to fend for herself." Let me speak, I screamed. But I only heard myself.

"That's why I'm here, so she'll never have to be alone. So she'll never have to fend for herself."

"Stop!" I finally managed out, feeble and hoarse as it was. They both looked at me. Shocked, yet expectant. Wanting to know what I have to say, yet willing to speak on my behalf.

"Emmett, go get me a pop from the vending machine." His face showed protest, even before his mouth could. "Please," I added. He glumly got up and stalked out of the room as slow as possible.

"Edward," I whispered, my voice cracking. He came forward and sat next to me, facing the wall as I was.

We didn't speak, we didn't look at each other. We just... Sat there.

Eventually Emmett came back with a Sprite, he set down on the table near my bed, then he walked back out. I silently thanked him.

Silence.

"My dad, he needed me to work," Edward blurted just as I said, "I forgive you."

We both chuckled at the awkwardness of the situation, or at least, that's why I did.

"Go on," I nudged his arm.

"There are these twins, they have heart problems. I was watching and then Rain she..." He trailed off, but I knew what he was saying. "I wanted to call you, but this hospital gets no reception. And I just... Couldn't leave her..."

I instinctively grabbed for his hand, intertwining our fingers and holding tight.

He knew I forgiven him, I'd said it.

But, what next?

If we were to continue this 'romance', if that is even what this is?

This roller coaster, this... Emotion. What if it's too much?

More silence. More words I wish I could say. But like before, they wouldn't come out.

Eventually, I gently laid my head on Edward's shoulder. I closed my eyes and reveled in the feeling of being close to him. I lived in the moment.

I felt his lips against my hair, and he squeezed my hand.

I could practically feel what he was thinking. So I replied in the same way.

_I love you, too._

* * *

_At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves._


End file.
